


A mother's love

by Elenyafinwe



Series: Elrond in Aman [10]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Fourth Age, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Valinor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenyafinwe/pseuds/Elenyafinwe
Summary: Especially in Aman, Elrond cannot quite leave his past behind him. He has tried to ignore it and not give it a place in the tranquil life of his family. But he still has parents who remember him, and so one day Elwing left to take the first step and bridge the gap between them.
Relationships: Celebrían/Elrond Peredhel, Elrond Peredhel & Elwing, Elrond Peredhel & Ereinion Gil-galad, Elrond Peredhel & Maedhros | Maitmo & Maglor | Makalaurë, Elrond Peredhel & Maglor | Makalaurë
Series: Elrond in Aman [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/402919
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	A mother's love

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Mutterliebe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941249) by [Elenyafinwe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenyafinwe/pseuds/Elenyafinwe). 



> I've not only translated the old text but also reworked it a little bit to give Elwing more reasonable motivations for what she did. In my headcanon everyone here speaks Quenya which is resembled in the spoken names. Celebrían also established a distillery when she arrived in Aman and sells her own brandy. Elrond joined the buisness after his arrival.

"Uncle Calad!", the bright child's voice echoed across the square. "Look what we found!"

Two blonde whirlwinds raged across the square, a boy and a girl, the spitting image of each other. Elellinde and Anarhin ran enthusiastically and in spite of all the market visitors to their father's friend and waved with the latest acquisitions they had captured: two colourful shells that their grandfather had just bought for them because you could hear the sound of the sea in them, which they liked so much.

When they reached Gil-galad, they almost swept him off his feet in their enthusiasm. The tall Noldo laughed. "Take it easy," he exclaimed, tousling their hair.

"Children," cried Celebrían angrily across the market, which at least prompted Elrond to look after his youngest, who were once again clinging to his friend and were eager to show him what they had received. He had to smile. For his youngest children, Gil-galad was indeed a member of the family, their uncle. As often as he visited Elrond and Celebrían on their estate, it was hardly surprising. After all, even Elrond believed from time to time that Gil-galad had moved in with them.

"Just look after them," Maglor told him. "I'll take care of things here."

As always on market days, Elrond maintained a stall here where the produce of the manor was sold. Business was good, and they had been able to expand their business considerably, so his foster-fathers Maedhros and Maglor helped out.

"Don't negotiate too laxly," Elrond advised with a wry grin and then rushed to the aid of his friend to free him from his children. A little annoyed Celebrían had now joined them, apparently quite stressed by the exuberant energy of their children.

"Where is your grandfather, he should have looked after you," she rebuked the twins. "How did you escape again? You know you are not supposed to do that."

Elellinde and Anarhin drew a synchronous pout. "But there's such great stuff here!" Anarhin squealed. She gave the shell to her mother. "Grandpa Maitimo bought it for us! They're great. You can hear the sea."

Celebrian sighed and looked at her husband.

"Why are you looking at me?" Elrond complained. "I was busy with our stand!"

Gil-galad smiled. "Only two children and you are out of your depth," he teased, but immediately fell silent as Celebrían's deadly gaze fell on him. "I'm already quiet," he mumbled hastily.

"Now someone tell me where Maitimo is," threatened Celebrian.

"I heard my name," it sounded hypocritically behind them. He approached them with an innocent expression.

"You spoil my children, you know very well that I can't stand it," Celebrian immediately started to scold. After she had put aside her initial shyness towards Maedhros and Maglor and had gotten used to them moving in with their foster son Elrond, she was not afraid to cut Maedhros down like an angry house dragon as soon as her children were at stake.

But Maedhros only shrugged his shoulders calmly. "Elerondo turned out to be something, too, as you can see."

Elellinde and Anarhin had already spotted the candy Maedhros had bought. Now Gil-galad had been freed from them, but they were now jumping excitedly around their grandfather, who of course could not hold on to them too long and gave them to them. The twins jumped at it enthusiastically.

With a snort Celebrían turned away and stomped away, but not without a poisonous look at Maedhros. She actually liked him. Actually ... Elrond rushed after her.

"He doesn't mean it," he tried to appease his wife.

"I'm not even allowed to raise my own children any more!" she hissed back.

Elrond flinched. "It will pass, I promise you," he kept on trying. "I had too much fat on my ribs as a small child, too, and look at me now. It's just his way of showing he likes you. This is the way he is."

"They're still my children!"

"And his grandchildren...

Celebrian was silent for a moment, then she sighed. "Well," she reluctantly admitted defeat. "I guess you're right. After all, you know your uncles better than I do." She smiled slightly.

"You see... And now we'll have a nice day and don't get angry anymore," he suggested. "Anyway, it's getting close to evening, we might as well close our stand soon. Then we can take the children, Uncle Makalaure, Uncle Maitimo and Calad for a walk along the beach. What do you think?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. "If that's how you want it."

In the background their two children were still besieging Maedhros to beg for more sweets. As Elrond knew his uncle, he would not be able to hold out much longer. Fortunately Maglor was busy with the stand, he would only spoil his grandchildren even more.

As the first stalls were now closing their daily business, they too were now going home for the evening. Soon the stand was dismantled and two of Elrond's employees, who worked in their company as temporary helpers, carried everything back to the estate, while the small family with Gil-galad made their way to the beach.

It was a warm summer day and even now, in the evening, the temperatures were still pleasant. The sea had warmed up a lot during the last weeks, so that it was very popular to refresh oneself a little bit this way.

For a while already, they walked along the beach. Celebrían had meanwhile taken off her shoes, because she loved the soft, warm sand between her bare toes. Maedhros played with the children and raved with them across the beach. Maglor discussed the daily business with Gil-galad. And Elrond just enjoyed the moment.

" _Atto_?!", Elellinde suddenly called out and ran to his parents, followed by his sister. Elrond caught the little blonde whirlwind and picked him up. "Can we go swimming?" begged the boy.

"But not too long," said Elrond. "It'll be chilly soon and you don't want to get sick."

"Whoo-hoo!" As soon as his father put him down, Elellinde stormed off with his sister. They almost forgot to take off their clothes before they stormed into the water and splashed around happily.

"You are far too much of a healer now and then," said Gil-galad, shaking his head but grinning.

Meanwhile Maedhros had joined them again and sat down on a tree trunk that had washed up here some time ago. " _Toronya_ , are you going to collect wood? Then we can make a small fire," he suggested.

Since there was nothing to oppose this idea, they held it that way. Soon enough driftwood was collected and a small evening bonfire was lit around which they sat down. Meanwhile, the sun set behind them in the west and bathed the sea in a glowing sea of flames. Elellinde and Anarhin were still playing frolicsomely and splashing water on each other, squeaking and laughing. Sometimes they were exhausting, Elrond thought, but most of the time they were such enchanting children. Even though, unlike his other children, they had inherited their mother's hair and eyes, he recognized much of Elladan and Elrohir and Arwen in them. He still thought of them often and would never want to forget them, but by now the memories of them hardly hurt, were little more than a distant longing for a time that was past.

" _Indo-ninya_ ", Celebrían suddenly tore him quietly from his thoughts. "Do you see the elf in the background? I noticed her some time ago at the market. It seems she's coming to us. And... she looks remarkably like you." Astonished, she paused.

Those present looked in the direction indicated. Maedhros hissed to suck the air. Confused, Elrond looked to his foster-fathers.

"Do you know her?" he asked.

Maglor slipped restlessly back and forth in his seat. "Well, yes. We do. Elerondo, this is your mother."

The realization struck him like a blow. Speechless, he looked first at the elf, who still hesitated to come closer at a distance, and then at Maglor again. "Are you sure?" he asked again, just to be sure.

Maglor nodded. "With all due respect, but we won't forget the face of someone who withholds a _silmaril_ from us so quickly."

"Do you think she recognised me?", Elrond asked, probably in a slight panic. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to Elwing.

"I think she did. At least she's coming here now," Maedhros interjected.

Elrond ducked away intuitively and Celebrían already reached for his hand to pat it soothingly. A gloomy silence fell over them. Elrond stared at his feet and wished himself far away. When he had come here, he had hoped that his parents might contact him, but nothing like this had ever happened. By now he had long since given up hope. To see Elwing now and to get to know her, probably under duress, was not exactly what he wished for. Especially since he wondered where Earendil was, his father, the father who was still celebrated like a hero these days. Even if most people meanwhile refrained from doing it in his presence.

One could see Elwing's insecurity with which she approached the small group, especially since she too must have recognized Maedhros and Maglor from far away.

"Good evening," she wished everyone, somewhat reservedly.

Maedhros and Maglor returned the greeting politely, albeit at a distance. Celebrían preferred to say nothing at all and Elrond just buzzed and otherwise continued to check his shoes. Gil-galad was the only one who stood up and greeted Elwing warmly, for he knew her well from his early years as High King and had often had contact with her and Earendil.

"What a surprise to see you again after so long," exclaimed the former king. "To what do we owe the honor?"

Elwing smiled politely as she took a quick glance at Elrond. "I wanted to speak to... to my son."

"After all this time." Elrond couldn't help but let his frustration and anger be heard clearly. Why did he want to see his parents in the first place, what did he hope to get out of it? But after all these millennia, there was still the little child in him who did not understand why his mother had abandoned him.

Maglor gave him a quick and admonishing look. Elwing put on a guilty expression.

" _Atto_?," Anarhin shouted from the shore as she came running to them with her brother. "Who is that? She looks just like you!"

Before the children could utter any more rash words, Maedhros rose and went to them. "Shall we play a little more? There's a lot of boring grown-up stuff going on here now. It's certainly not for you."

"All right," the twins agreed, but not with much enthusiasm. Elwing had clearly aroused their curiosity, even though they couldn't know who the stranger was.

"Have a seat," Celebrían offered, when Maedhros was out of earshot with the children. With a friendly smile, Elwing accepted the offer. "I am Tyelpetári."

"Artanis' daughter, you look a lot like your mother. It is a pleasure to meet you," Elwing greeted her.

"Say what you have to say and then leave again," Elrond muttered in annoyance, but he didn't really want to hear it. The mere fact that this evening could have been so beautiful without Elwing clouded his mood considerably. Not to mention all the rest. How hypocritical to come to him after all these years!

"Elerondo, I... My son." Apparently Elwing didn't know where to start either. Nervously she kneaded her hands and sat opposite them stiff as a board.

"Don't call me that, I'm not," Elrond harshly told her. "My father is sitting here beside me and there is not a star high up in the sky, I never had a mother."

"Elerondo!", Maglor warns, but reaps only a frown.

Elwing could be seen to have been struck by these words, though she seemed surprised by Maglor's admonition. Nevertheless, Celebrían watched her with Argus eyes and demonstratively moved closer to Elrond.

"I know that so much stands between us, Elerondo, and I am aware that our ... relationship is difficult," Elwing began. "But I am still your mother. Does that count for nothing?"

Maglor said nothing, but this silence probably said more than any song. His gaze was dark, if not openly hostile. Yet Elrond could imagine what was going on behind his forehead, the same thoughts that occupied him.

"Where were you when we, Elerosse and I, were plagued by nightmares at a young age, the last faint memories of Arvernien," Elrond began in an icy tone. "Where were you when we wandered alone through the end of Valariande and I realized my brother was dying? Where were you when we lived through those terrible hours? Where were you when I sat at my brother's deathbed and could do nothing more to save him? Where were you when I lived through the horrors of war in Mórinore? Where were you when I heard that my wife was being held prisoner and, what was worse, what was being done to her? Where were you when I realized I could no longer help her? Where were you when I heard that all my children had died? Where were you?

Here in Aman you were, far away from it all. Hiding in your tower from the world outside, pushing everything away from you. Ardamíre sails every night and nothing is more important than looking after your husband. But that you once had two sons, who perhaps long ago wanted to experience a mother's love, had never occurred to you. No, a stone, a _damned stone_ , was more important!

Difficult is a gross understatement, Elvinga. That you're the one who brought my brother and me into this world is clearly not relevant."

Gil-galad had got up in the meantime and had left discreetly. This was a family matter. Although he had gotten along well with Elwing many years ago, he was only clearly aware of how Elrond thought of her.

"I am your mother," Elwing repeated only faintly. "Even after all these years. What was I supposed to do with that knife at my throat?" The last one was accompanied by a side glance at Maglor.

"You should have given them the stone, they had the only right to it, everyone knew that," Elrond said immediately. "But you did not, and all these things cannot be undone."

"We did it for you, for Elerosse and you," Elwing insisted. "All we wished for was that you could grow up in safety, as any family would have wished in those days. You are our little sparrows. Maybe we failed."

"No, you haven't," Maglor stepped in. "It may be true, you should have known what you were facing, for we were driven by our oath. But perhaps it was just as well, the way things happened then. Could you really have reached Aman with Ardamíre, would there have been anything else that kept you in Valariande? I do not believe so."

"Instead you spared my sons," said Elwing, softly and with astonishment. Until that day, she didn't seem to know what to think about it. "Perhaps I should thank you, if I could. Even though you have removed my sons from me..."

"He didn't. Neither he nor uncle Maitimo," Elrond contradicted harshly, "They have always raised us in the knowledge of who our birth parents are, so that we do not forget where our roots lie. That we still regard them as our fathers and our families, and not you and Ardamíre, is entirely down to us. They had never impressed it upon us. Why do you think I call them uncle and not father? It is not a childhood quirk that has survived to this day."

Elwing remained silent for a long time, avoiding her gaze. "You know, Elerondo, I have often thought of you and Elerosse and I deeply regret what happened. "I really would have liked to see you grow up, you and your children and your children's children ... No mother should abandon her children as I did. Yes, it hurt to see all the suffering that happened to you and it hurts all the more to hear what you think of me. But perhaps it was also good that... Makalaure took care of you." She seemed to have trouble uttering Maglor's name. "And perhaps it was just cowardice that I came only now; I have often cursed myself for it, believe me.

There is no excuse for what I did, but I feel I owe you at least an explanation. The attack on the city, although we expected something of this kind, was nevertheless sudden and did not give us enough time to prepare ourselves. Moreover, Ardamíre had also left the port only a short time before, tying up part of our forces; he would not have left if we had known that Feanáro's sons were already at our gates. The city fell, and when I saw that all was lost, I gave you into the care of your nurse and fled with the _silmaril_. I was desperate and did not know how else to protect you but to send you away. It was the last thing I could do for you as a mother. But when I saw the blood running through the streets of the city, I was overcome with despair. I thought you were dead, that no one could escape it alive, especially not two little children. So I jumped off that cliff. It was only later, when Ardamíre returned from the War of Wrath, that I learned that you had survived."

"But why didn't you just give them the _silmaril_?" As long as he could think and understood what happened then and why, Elrond had asked himself this question. Everyone knew about the oath that Feanor and his sons had sworn, and Elwing had seen in Doriath what fruits that oath bore. Why had she allowed this to happen a second time?

"Would you have given up Vilya if it would have saved your children?" was all Elwing said.

That hit Elrond. He had asked himself the same question so many times and then told himself that he would simply never let it come to that. Could he have done the same as Elwing? The thought did not appeal to him.

"All that which has happened is done irrevocably," Elwing continued. "But maybe something can change now. In any case, I would be very happy if you would allow me to get to know your children."

Elrond struggled with himself. He did not want that woman around him, he just could not forgive her. She may have had her reasons for leaving his brother and him behind, and his rational mind told him they were valid. But the child in him had not forgotten the long dark nights of fear.

"Not now anyway," he finally said.

"Not now," Elwing repeated quietly, but seemed to accept it. Slowly and still a little unsettled she rose again. "Well... I'd better be going, then." With a last look around, she turned to leave.

Elrond said nothing, just took a deep breath. But his eyes had softened.

**Author's Note:**

> Calad - Light; Qu.; Translation by Sindarin Galad  
> Elellinde - Star Song; Qu.  
> Anarhin - Sunchild; Qu.  
> Maitimo - Well-shaped One, Maedhors' mother name; Qu.  
> Elerondo - Star-dome, translation from Elrond in Quenya  
> Makalaure - Gold-cleaver, Maglor's mother name; Qu.  
> Toronya - my brother; Qu  
> Indo-ninya - my heart; Qu  
> atto - father, papa; Qu  
> Tyelpetári - Silver Queen Translation from Celebrían to Quenya  
> Valariède - Beleriand; Qu  
> Mórinore - Mordor; Qu.  
> Ardamíre - Arda-Jewel, Earendil; Qu.  
> Elvinga - Star-foam, translation from Elwing to Quenya  
> Elerosse - Star-foam, translation from Elros to Quenya


End file.
